I forgot to tell you this, but I'm especially glad that you've faved these few pieces: they are very emotional, chaotic, very personal, all painted on large surfaces - and they are important to me /not that I'm attached to them or something, I basically loathe them, because they kind of exposed my intimate moments, you know - in a hardly understandable language, though/. Anyway, I'm glad you pointed them out.
This one is a bit tricky study about - well, you know when people try to be a part of your life and you just don't want that. Their intentions are good and honest, they really love and respect you, but you simply don't want that. Not because you're shy or insecure or whatever, but because you often have a need for being alone. Self consciousness requires time to evolve. That's why I've painted a DOS-command line with denied access and load-refusal; sometimes I have a feeling that I don't want to be reached. Mentally tired, exhausted. Also, this painting is about the artist's (not that I consider my self one) position in the civilized society and responsibility in a sense that artist's work/life effects some people, whether the artist likes/excepts that or not. This piece is messy and chaotic, 3 feet in height, and the photo is not so good, but I hope you got the idea. This painting's personal, but I'm over it..
Anyway, thanks for your words, I appreciate it. And sorry for the long letter, and for possible spelling mistakes, my english is not that good.
Ohh, I see - I call that my 'Suit of Armor'. You need one to be able to continue to create, no matter how much people seem to want of you, or make you feel selfish for denying them access to yourself. It took me the longest time not to feel guilty about wanting to be alone, and I still feel bad about it sometimes. Sometimes I get a painting out of it though, like you did here